


Baking Bad

by orphan_account



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Alternate Universe, Begins with Walt and Skyler still together btw, Cupcake AU, Elements of Canon, Infidelity, M/M, Slash, Slow Build, eventual slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1748291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why cook meth when you can win a million dollars baking cupcakes? Perhaps with the strangest midlife crisis his family has yet to hear of, Walter White ditches his job teaching a high school cooking class in favor of becoming America’s top baker… with the help of pot-brownie genius Jesse Pinkman of course. With their hearts set on the one million dollar grand prize, Team Heisenberg must overcome the complications of tough competition, blatant sabotage, and their own personal conflicts with each other in order to make fat stacks.<br/>[Eventual Walt/Jesse | Rating could go up later | Tags will be added as needed | Alternative Universe]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baking Bad

Cupcakes are the last thing anyone would ever associate with Walter White. Cupcakes are colorful miniature cakes of sweet, fluffy happiness. Cupcakes are for people who like to live a little. Cupcakes are not for middle-aged men who grumpily teach the local high school food and nutrition course.

At first, Walter’s friends and family find his obsession with cooking shows to be somewhat endearing. Skyler is the first to realize that his obsession is getting to an unhealthy level. Sure, the guy teaches a cooking class. He used to be some hopeful fancy chef or something. But hours of baking challenge reruns? Marathons of Cupcake Wars? Skyler decides that maybe this is just some strange midlife crisis and lets him be. It’s just a bunch of pastries. It’s harmless.

However, when Skyler sees that their google history is full of Albuquerque baking competitions, she realizes that this is going too far.

“Walt, can I talk to you for a second?”

There’s a beat before Walter turns around from his spot on the couch. “Uh, sure, honey, one second,” he says to pause the television program. “What’s up?”

Skyler slides onto the couch next to Walt. “It’s just… I’m a little worried about you. You just haven’t been yourself lately. And it’s not just me. We’ve all noticed it. Junior, Hank, Marie. You’re not you.”

“What do you mean?” Walter sits up defensively.

“You’re obsessed with… with… _cakes_! Cakes, Walt, of all things, cakes. This is ridiculous.”

Walter rolls his eyes. “Is this about the anniversary dinner? Honestly, Sky, it’s been years since we’ve gone out. I forgot that you don’t like fish. I thought I made up for it when I took you to that steak place.”

“Walter, I’m serious. Are you planning on entering a baking competition? I saw the internet history and I’m pretty sure that you don’t fit the typical baking contestant. You’re not a chef anymore. You’re a schoolteacher. Please, Walter, we don’t have the money to go off trying to recapture our dreams. That’s what this is, isn’t it? Your midlife crisis? I know we all have to cope somehow but with the baby and with Junior going to college soon… We can’t do this.” Skyler pauses to study her husband’s face. “Walt? Are you listening to me?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. No baking. Gotcha, Sky. Loud and clear.” Walter picks up the remote to unpause his program. “But there’s no harm in watching.”

* * *

 

“I don’t know, Skyler. I don’t think it’s just about baking pastries… There’s something deeper. Maybe… I can’t believe I’m even saying this about _Walt_ , but… have you considered that maybe he’s smoking or something?”

Skyler is giving her a blank look so Marie nods her head and continues, “Okay just hear me out. It’s like mormons, you know? All their lives they live like Christopher Columbus but if you take one and give them electricity and running water, they become obsessed. No? Okay, okay. What I’m saying is that Walt’s been this goody-goody nerd his entire life. Maybe part of his midlife crisis is trying a little pot or something to make up for his conservative teen years. Maybe he’s-” Marie takes a quick glance around and leans in closer to whisper, “maybe he’s addicted to pot.”

Skyler immediately stands up from her chair and shakes her head. “That’s enough for today, Marie. I’ll call you later or something.”

Marie just shakes her head.

* * *

 

It’s almost midnight but Walter notices that Skyler is still wide awake, staring at the ceiling. He knows Skyler well enough to tell when something’s on her mind.

“Can’t sleep either, huh?” Walt reaches over and grasps Skyler’s hand. When Skyler doesn’t respond, Walt leans over and kisses her cheek. “You can talk to me about anything, you know that, right?”

“It’s silly,” she finally whispers.

“It’s eating you up. Tell me.”

Skyler sighs and turns over so that she is facing Walter. “Are you smoking pot?”

Walter blinks twice before laughing. “Very funny. Now, what’s bugging you?”

“I’m serious, Walt.”

“Really? Me? Smoking pot?”

“I knew it was silly. Marie brought it up as a possibility and it just got to my head,” Skyler turns back over. “Goodnight, Walt.”

Skyler falls asleep a few minutes later but Walter still tosses on his side of the bed.

“Pot, huh?”

* * *

 

Even after changing out of his dockers and his button-down shirt, Walter feels horribly out of place in this part of town. When someone bemusedly spits their tobacco directly in front of him, Walt asks himself--for the upteenth time--if he should really go through with us.

Walter has no idea what he’s doing or why he’s going through with it. To be completely honest, he wouldn’t even dream of being here if Skyler didn’t get the idea rolling in his mind. But no matter who planted the idea in his head, Walt decides that the decision was his in the end.

Cupcakes and pot. This must be the craziest midlife crisis in existence. Well, Walt muses, at least they both had something to do with baking.

When Walter thinks he’s reached the proper intersection, he fishes out a carefully creased mapquest printout. He double checks his location and stuffs the paper back into his pocket. Nothing left but to wait.

After a good ten minutes of waiting, Walt decides that maybe this is a sign that this isn’t his style and he should go home and pretend it never happened. He’s three steps gone when he hears a hushed “hey.”

Walter turns towards the direction of the voice and pinpoints a guy standing in the shadow of a doorway, his hands stuffed into the pockets of an oversized hoodie. Walt can’t make out his face but he assumes that the guy is talking to him. He cautiously walks towards him.

“What are you doing ‘round here, old man? Looking for something?” the guy suggests. Walt can tell that his head is angled down, watching Walt’s feet rather than his face.

“Depends on why you’re asking.”

“How do I know you’re not a cop?”

“Guess you’ll just have to take that chance,” Walt says as he pulls out a wad of twenty-dollar bills. The man coughs and steps out into the light, focused on digging through his pockets.

He looks up immediately when he hears Walter choke.

“ _Pinkman_?”

* * *

 

“Okay, you know what, Mr. White? I ain’t gonna discriminate or nothing. I got bills to pay. But since you’re new to this whole thing and I know you and shit, I’m gonna do you a favor. Take these instead of the blunt, yo.”

Walter doesn’t know what to do when Jesse Pinkman, one of his former students, holds a bag of brownies out to him.

“Brownies?”

“They’re not just any brownies, dipshit, they’re loaded with a healthy dosage of Mary Jane.”

“What?”

“Marijuana, Mr. White.”

“Stop saying my name. What if someone hears you?”

“Chill, man, it’s just pot. Just take it, a’ight? We ain’t gonna get personal and shit. This is pure business.”

“Right. Business.”

“Good. Now get outta here before someone decides to mug you.”

* * *

 

Maybe it was the weed talking, but holy shit these brownies are good. Walt lies back and sighs contentedly. He hazily thanks god that Skyler’s visiting her mother for the rest of the night.

* * *

 

The first time the idea crawls its way into Walt’s thoughts, he pushes it away because it’s completely and utterly ridiculous. But after the idea pops up a fifth time, Walt decides that maybe, just maybe, it could work.

Walt makes sure to use google incognito when he looks for the next baking competition.

* * *

 

By the time Walt gets the email, he already has a list of competitions he wants to enter and a vague idea of how he’s gonna get a certain (pot) brownie prodigy on board. But as he reads the email, Walt pats himself on the back for subscribing to all of those recipe websites ages ago.

Because Los Pollos Hermanos is hosting a baking tournament with a one million dollar grand prize.

* * *

 

“Look, Mr. White, I took your stupid cooking class ‘cause I wanted to fill the credit requirement with something easy. But ya flunked me so I had to take woodshop instead, asshole. If I wasn’t good enough at that baking shit when I was seventeen, how much better could I possibly be now, huh?”

“I know potential when I see it, Jesse. If you would just let me _teach_ you, we can make it big.”

“You’re fucking nuts, you know that? I’m not some.. _pastry bitch_. I make fucking _weed_ brownies. Ya know, with marijuana? Cannabis? Ring a bell? That’s my business, Mr. White. Weed. I ain’t gonna make fucking _cupcakes_ with you, man.”

“They’re not just cupcakes, Jesse, they’re cupcakes with one million dollars attached. One _million_. Do you realize where that will put you? This is just… Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. Listen to me,” commands Walter. He grabs his counterpart by the shoulders and forces him to look him in the eye.

“...what are you doing,” Jesse asks but Walt ignores him.

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But what kind of life will it be? Will it be a life full of never once believing in yourself?”

“I don’t know-”

“Listen,” Walt says, his grip on Jesse’s shoulders growing tighter. “This competition isn’t easy. It’s not going to be your typical Food Network three-hour television contest. This is bigger than that. And I can’t win with just anyone. I need someone whose skills set is a contrast to mine. Not just that, someone who can _compliment_ my skills. And only _you_ can do that. Now, the choice is yours, Jesse. Are you in?”

Jesse sighs but he doesn’t break eye contact, he doesn’t try to pull away. “What the hell. Yeah… I’m in.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This AU was inspired by those lovely Breaking Bad cupcakes (you know, the ones with blue rock candy sprinkled on top?) and my family's obsession with Cupcake Wars. I was actually trying to write a sugar daddy AU but this one flowed a lot better. That said, I have yet to outline this bad boy but I do have a vague plan of where I'm going to go with this. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.
> 
> Also, my title is great, don't judge me.


End file.
